Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's day!

I'm working two four-hour shifts at my aforementioned menial jobs, plus have two writing deadlines tomorrow (not to even get into the messy kitchen, lack of clean bath towels and near-empty fridge), so I have to make this brief, but I want to send a big happy VD <3 to all who have stopped by over the past couple of days, most tipped off by my piece in the Star Tribune and on The Journal in Ireland. (Irish visitors, I'd love to hear about how much support families and parents get in Ireland; I thought the United States was a real outlier with our lack of paid maternal leave, uneven child care facilities and rigid workplace rules, but my editor at The Journal says things are tough there, too.)

Once I get these pesky deadlines and work shifts out of the way, I have much more to say about some of the comments my essay has drawn, including our own Scott J.'s, rather strongly worded remarks right  here on the blog (a couple of posts ago).

I also want to talk about my interview last week with Joan C. Williams, author of the fabulous Reshaping the Work-Family Debate, and discuss some of her ideas about how families can share responsibilities more equitably.

And I'd like to (a bit belatedly) discuss the survey conducted by VIDA, Women in Literary Arts, indicating that women writers and authors are woefully underrepresented in magazine articles and book reviews, respectively.

But wait -- there's more! Anyway, we have lots to talk about. See you as soon as I can come up for air. In the meantime, help yourselves:


  1. kids grow up fast - mine are 6 and 11 and i find myself looking longingly at plump babies on laps at the coffeeshop. raising young kids has such a sense of purpose and fufillment. i don't regret a single moment of the time i spent with them, nor did i regret quitting my job until....they were both in school full time. thankfully our situation is financially secure, but i feel a little adrift, too scared to try and jump back into the work pool in middle age and not wanting to give up the time i still have with my kids before and after school. if i could go back, i would've hung on to the reduced-hours position i was offered when my second child was born, and kept more personal balance .

  2. Having looked around your blog I would suggest renaming it: "Everything looks yellow to a jaundiced eye."

    Is it your opinion that women, in aggregate, have such limited opinions that you can speak for them? Isn't that inherently insulting to women?

    Do any two men say Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olbermann perhaps, share identical outlooks on their experience?

    Katy, I have heard and read many of your fellow travelers, usually educated upper middle class white women who perpetually showcase their narcissism under the guise of "concern for women."

    Most women, globally, as most men, are not obsessed with their individualism and see themselves as part of larger whole, e.g., a family, an extended family, a community. Responsibility to family is sacrosanct. No more...

    Largely in the west but now moving eastward is a philosophy of rampant individualism: Everything is secondary to my individual wants. Everything is a consumer choice including marriage; including children.

    This is the subtext of most of your self-obsessed writings but Katy; most people don't think that way. You can't acquire or consume your way to self fulfilment.

    Don't mean to sound so harsh. It's just so predictable. I'm surprised your last name isn't hyphenated.

  3. Not sure why you think my last name should be hyphented, John. At the moment, I'm not even married, but it wasn't hyphenated when I was, either.

    I absolutely agree that many women think differently than I do. Luckily, many of them have blogs of their own, or other ways to express their views. This blog necessarily focuses on my own views, and I happen to talk a lot about the situation of women in general and what I rhink about their position. I don't claim my outlook is "identical" to anyone else's.

    I'm happy to have you reading and commenting here, John. But if you don't agree with my views and they upset you, there's a pretty easy solution to that.

  4. Sorry to be so snarky Katy. Especially during a tough time. Of course you are entitled to your opinion and it goes without saying that I don't have to read or respond.

    Your strib article really made be bristle as it reflected no concern for how your sons or ex were impacted by your choices.

    Bemoaning your current situation while collecting child support and maintenance eroded further sympathy.

    Few are handed anything in this life and yes, it's hard. Spend some time in Calcutta ( I have) and believe me you'll come back grateful for what you've been given in this life and rethink ever feeling sorry for yourself again.

    I think if you look at things from a affirmative perspective i.e., women living longer than ever, having more career choices, personal freedom, reproductive freedom etc...; And, try viewing people as individuals rather than prisoners of gender identity; you may rethink some of your assumptions.

    Don't mean to come across as condescending or patronizing though I'm sure I do.

    The best years of your life are in front of you and you will be fine. As someone in a position to know once said to me, "when you get clarity, regardless of how you're feeling right now, money is and will always be the least of your worries."